Fundamentals

As we stroll through life we often get caught in our small urban life dramas, most of the times forgetting the purpose of life itself and even the things that matter the most. All we do matters the most you might say and I am not the one to judge or question that, I am trying to shed light in my small brain related issues and actually focus on what is to this life that makes me happy or what is to this life for me to learn, experiment?

The past period I have been so caught up in my job drama that I somehow allowed it to take control over my entire thinking. You might say that the job is an important thing as we spend there more than half of our lives and for a certain amount I tend to agree. However I believe it is our personal ego that gives the job more credit than it actually has and it takes from us more than it deserves.

In my long crazy quest to understand why I don't get the pleasure that I used to from my job I missed the signals that I was getting from around me. My husband was unsuccessfully trying to set me back on the track, my body was giving some pain signs and I was blind to all.

We left for the mountains yesterday in a small getaway. I happily packed thinking if leisure days, no work thoughts, no questions. Ad by the end of the day I got struck by terrible pain, my entire body was under the pressure of bloody headache, stomachache and some other aches that I even forgot. I strongly feel that was my body's way to bring me back on my normal, cheerful self and I got to remember how much more important things life is all about. Health  could easily be the most important one, than the love for your better half and all the others that are in your life, the pleasure that you get by reading a book, by catching up with friends or my telling your mom a secret - for me all these things use to matter the world, however they all faded away in my small drama.

I thank my body now for its reaction, for the pain as it has waken me up from my dizziness. I have decided to accept what I am going through and understand why things are happening the way the are. I have applied for few jobs that i found more interesting and I am now curiously and modestly waiting to see what will happen. Will i get a  new job? Will I stay here? I am accepting for possibilities as each one is bringing a new understanding to me. If i move than what I was supposed to learn, experience here is done, If i stay it means that my roles here is not over.

Accepting the experience is never easy but when you do that wholeheartedly you reach to a new level of understanding  an interior peace that has no great words to describing it. I accept. I am happy. I understand.

And I am waiting...